Scattered

I am going to admit that I have been avoiding my final project. Maybe it is the fear of messing up but also I have no idea what I want to do in the background. I have my community that I turn to when I get stuck but recently I just haven't been going to many people for inspiration or I just haven't found inspiration for my project. The most recent person I have turned to for advice would be Emily and I don't really talk to her much but I do respect her point of view because she seems to be a person full of ideas. Also because I trust her to say what she thinks. What she viewed from my painting was a sense of transcending and Danny got a sense of melting away.  Something that really caught my attention was how Emily talked about the sense of transcending. I have been seeing this painting not as something that mean more but just forcing something in the back to finish it. The message that I wanted my painting to have was the sense of being free and Emily had the exact word to sum up everything I wanted my painting to be. The definition of transcending is to go beyond the limits or range and that is exactly what I want to achieve but it seems to be impossible since I still have no clue to what I might want the back to be. How do I present a feeling of washing away the past in a painting? Is is possible to even show leaving the past or maybe there is something else. I notice that I keep on talking about what "I was" going to do throughout my posts but the real question to myself would probably be what am I doing now. What I going to be doing In the background? What I'm going to be doing tomorrow? How am I going to finish this when I don't feel any motivation to actually accomplish this painting? How can I paint something that I have a meaning for but no image to match it? Everything recently has been in such a haze that this doesn't apply to just the painting but how I am seeing everything else. I don't know what I want to do in the next couple of years, I don't know what my goal is, I don't even know what I am working for anymore. I guess you can say that I am all over the place and because of this I found my side salad, well if it even counts as a side salad. Which i figured I'll talk about in my next post after I get it approved.